She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
