reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
