It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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