K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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