Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
