oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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