I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
