when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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