I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
