Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
then he tried to convert me to islam
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
