you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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