Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
