Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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