My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
