i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
