i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
