You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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