she woke up with a sticky ear
please come you make the beer taste better
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize