GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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