in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
