i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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