Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
