Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize