office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
