speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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