So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
