Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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