Sry I called you an 8
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let's paint friendship bongs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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