You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
