ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
