I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
