please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
