why didn't you poke me back
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
