omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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