No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
