im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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