i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
