i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
