i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
