hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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