Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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