You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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