I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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