I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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