somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
