Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
