Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
