We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
