I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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