woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
