I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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