if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize