the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
