he thought i was a dude.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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