Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
