I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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