Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
