Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
