So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
