wat bout pragnant strippers??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you win again, gameday.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
