I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
